Long-term Friendship, who would you let in?

Last night, on my way home
, I felt sad and grown up.
To the 5-year-long friendship, I wondered,
"What did I give?","What have I got?"
Who will be in my list to call to gather after 10 or 20 years?
Happy and crazy memories
with some angry and frustrated stories
made my life colorful.
Knowing how to communicate
, learning how to be a good man
without losing own principles.
I was sure to be socialized
, no matter for the bright side or the dark side.
I've got skills of avoiding embarrassed situation
, making an atmosphere to go smoothly.

I think of myself as a good guy
who dedicates himself to friends.
On the way home with my salary
, I will buy food for my roommate
for sharing my happiness.
Though for some reasons I stopped this behavior
, I didn't stop paying my concerns to them.
Sometimes the feedback hurt my heart
even I thought I didn't need any feedback.
"If there's no plus feelings for me
, at least don't give me minus ones."
, I shouted in my mind.

Therefore I learned, be sure to give without
thinking of feedbacks or just don't even give
one tiny piece.
Is it called socialized? or shrewd?
I would say it is called selfish.

To devote or endure something you don't really like
for your friend is called friendship!
How do you think?
If you can't be like me, heart to heart,
how about just give me a thank?
Then I would feel all I've done are worthwhile.

No thanks.
I felt frustrated.
And I don't like this kind of evil peace.
Getting rid of some evil friendship may be good
cause I really can't take it for a lifelong one.

Maybe I think too much.
Whatever!!!