Solicitude 牽掛

Growing up means taking more and more reluctant responsibility.

It suddenly occurred to me that I was pushed to a place senselessly.

It may be a stage where you were forced to put on a show.

It could be a spooky night path where you didn't dare but must go to get home.

It might be the bitter cure to your illness which you'll never take but still have to.

It is, in this very situation that I have to face the truth

that Mom is no longer young and healthy for being my shelter.

Losing a shoulder to cry on is so cruel and furthermore I became the shoulder

for her rest of life to rely on. I admit I've been a place I never expected to be.

At the beginning of the turning point of my status, I try to return the love.
I think somehow I realize, at this momentous point, the pressure poured
by both aged parents and young children.--Parents doubled
the caring and strength to sustain their parents and children,
both mentally and physically or even financially.

C'est la vie...

Through the life and death of my parents do I realize caring for ones I love
is really the life I lived and should live. I have walked out of my own room
and stepped to the kitchen, where we eat, the living room, where we gather
, to everywhere in my house and been ready to be the support.
It's time to return.
It's time to take more responsibility.
It's time to look after myself because I will be the backbone
of both my beloved Mom and Dad and children.
To live for ones who love you and you love is what life is all about -- solicitude.

當你存到千萬之後

很妄想的一句話
但是卻十分值得思考
不只是在存到千萬之後的未來
也是在努力中的現在
存到千萬並不單在於數目的抵達
它更是在說明在路程中你將要對你的生命下一個什麼定義
人生該為何而活?
在經濟自由的目標下，應該要有一個更重要的目標--簡單、快樂
與大家分享一篇好文

當你存到千萬元之後

在你還沒有存到千萬元之前，壹千萬元聽來像是一個很大的數字，是你的夢想，不過它並不真的只是夢想，也許，現在馬上增加千萬元資產的確是個夢想，但是在未來的某個時間存到千萬元，並不是你想像中的那麼不可思議，雖然不是每一個人都辦得到，但是很多人都會。當你存到千萬元之後呢？


人的想像力很薄弱，當你身上沒有壹萬元的存款的時候，你完全無法想像，你有壹千萬元時會如何感受，和現在的情緒又有什麼不同，到時候你的人生態度會不會一樣，對工作的看法會不會一樣。我們通常是憑空捏造未來有千萬元時的感受，我們沒錢時，都會想像有錢一定很好，但是我們從沒有錢過，所以我們用社會中的文化與流傳的觀念來推論有錢一定會很好，因為一般人類社會都很流行更多財富代表更多快樂的觀念。

心理學家從各國國民所得與快樂程度的研究，已經證明很多遍，一旦滿足了基本需求，更多的錢，不會讓人感受到更多快樂，多數社會還是不斷流傳「更多財富代表更多快樂」的觀念，不是因為這個觀念正確，而是因為這個觀念有助於社群的繁榮，也有利於社群在全球的兢爭力，繁榮的社群會傳播它的金錢觀，所以這種金錢觀會被流傳。如果我們生存的社會沒有這個觀念，那早就沒落了，甚至已經被其他繁榮的社群吞滅了。

當你存到千萬元之後，早上起來，還是和只有五百萬的時候，吃的大致相同的早餐，出門上班時，穿著大致相同的制服，住同一個房子，開同一部車，還是同一位可愛忠心的配偶，消費習慣也沒有太大的不同，也許會在考慮價格的時間，變少一點，但是你的快樂程度，其實，應該是和九百萬、八百萬、七百萬或六百萬那些日子，差不多。如果你有快樂一點，其實主要是因為你變成熟了一點，不是每個人變老了都能變成熟，更懂得快樂的道理，和如何花錢創造快樂體驗的決定。

當你存到千萬元之後，世界沒有從這天就變成彩色的，因為它原本就是彩色的，你也不會從這天開始就變成生活習慣大不相同的人，除了短暫的慶祝，日子很快就回覆平常，快樂的程度也會恢復平常，如何逐步提高平常的快樂感受，才是我們人生旅途中重要的任務，到底存到了幾千萬，其實只像是深山林道旁的道路里程標誌，通過10,000K公里處，和還沒通過該公里處，完全沒有你想像的那麼重要，快樂關鍵是抬起頭，看看山，看看水，看看花，看看鳥，別一路只死盯著道路里程標誌看，它不是重點啊！

閒聊：在新開的百貨公司超市，買了袋多數都壞了酸了的玉荷包，真失望。
轉錄自此--上班族投資理財 ﹛●﹜

社會學 Sociology 學社會

Sociology is easy to catch on wherever you want to.
My company is the very place I learned the lesson.
They say the army is a small world. I see...
And furthermore, I suddenly found myself in the real society at every age I am.
Not only in military but also in school, family, or even kindergarten.
In fact, we started to learn the world since the day we were born.
We are learning relationship among people.
Some people are good, some are bad, as you divide them into two.
And maybe you want to tell them apart more precisely
, there are countless adjectives you can use.
You will see you're getting human being more complicated
and getting you more confused as well as frustrated.

Pal! What matters is your getting your own lesson
－the different way you treat different people. It's called "be smart!"
The battle among children is exactly the same as it among adults.
As for stealing, 3 dollars and 1 trillion differs.
As for fighting, fists and guns differs.
As for revenge, telling on and murdering differs.
What's the difference? Degree but nothing more.
Growing up is like getting into the truth to the secret of the society.
Feeling sorrowful but it's better than being fooled.

Someday I will know how the world runs, regardless of grief in mind.
As long as I know how to control the drawback, I'm able to manage the world.
Nothing to fear, at least, friends is my final fortress besides family.
They are two things I need on my way to success.
A gorgeous empire has emerged. Webber and I are in, anyone else...?

Teacher to Be 1 Month-old

It's been 23 days to teach as a teacher in Seeds Language School.
I quite enjoy the days so far.
Teaching plan has begun an usual task for me
, whereas controlling concentration and attitudes of students
has become a new task for me.

Sometimes the misbehavior of a student may not just directly derive from the student
, but the parents who should educate them well.
Because of the factor, I always feel sorry for the kid for his being in the very poor family.
I think that is what I should keep in mind for avoiding being hurt by the blameful parents
just as Teacher Tsai in Yong Hwa Elementary School told me.
I don't know when this kind of injury from the parents will come, but I am ready for any challenge since I've decided to take the job.

The atmosphere in the office is nice
and I feel I am making progress every day, including teaching skill and capability of English
, which I see as my supreme lesson to learn.
Anyway, it's a little bit tired, a little bit good and a little bit feeling of growing up.
24 hours seem more not enough now that I seldom have time for my leisure.
I know I'm still figuring out the best schedule for myself and I can do it.

工作

好久好久...
約有24年就這樣過去
學生學生學生的日子
終於過去
終於...我開始工作
第一份正式的工作
從大學二年級就開始等待這天的到來
說是等待
其實也包含著一點點等等看
看自己
到底會不會找到另一個自己會愛到陷進去的領域
可惜到了今天
仍在原點、原來的工作
終於知道我沒找到
所以是否真的喜歡這份工作我也不清楚
只能說我不排斥
就這樣子而已

還記得高中英佬說過
雖然人人都說當學生比較幸福
但他喜歡上班勝於當學生
因為上班和上學一樣累人，可是上班有錢領，唸書沒有
嗯，我想這是在聽到的那個當下
我立志把脫離學生身份當成終極目標的

有了工作就會有了經濟能力
有了經濟能力就要自己養自己了
雖然隨之而來的壓力與責任
會接踵而來
但很多事情與責任本來就是自己的
父母幫忙了20幾年
在這時還給我們罷了

*這時忽然想起當時問Paul的一個問題
「老家的英文是什麼阿?
嗯...就是那個從小生長的家」
Paul想了一下，說
「parents' house」
頓時之間我才了解為什麼國外小孩成年了就會想出去住
因為老家不是他的家，是他小時候的家，是他父母的家
與中國人的觀念真是不一樣
也難怪他們從小就可以比較獨立
所以現在我也都改口說
這是我爸的車、那是我媽的房子
說不定這樣子我能真正從最心底獨立起來
不過目前還是稱家為"我家"...因為說"我爸媽家"真的很怪

目前的工作還算OK~
每天看課，觀摩
加上幾節要上的課
我拚命地觀察每位小孩的狀況
希望我可以從了解他們開始
掌握每位學生的學習狀況
只是一切都還剛開始
什麼都是霧煞煞

不過一切還挺順利的...呵呵

Leave the Army

Good days, good fresh air!
Through the magic freedom stuff
,what you think ordinary could be lovely
and adorable that you can't imagine.
Yes, I have got out of the evil place
, where you may lost yourself in the vanity of the class
or the fake justice of self-confidence.
It is really a poor and district place in the army.
What you can learn is to endure ridiculous things
and wait till the right time comes.
Fortunately, I stayed there hardly for only 11 months
to be free again though 11 months are long to me when I was in it.

I want to share a good song, "黃埔軍魂".

黃埔軍魂

國家的干城　革命的先鋒

文武合一　薪火相傳　為國為民盡忠

輝煌的歷史　光榮的傳統

如手如足　一心一德　個個都是英雄

親愛精誠　團結奮鬥肯犧牲

讓黃埔的精神　常在藍天上放光明

If I'd never been there, I would never know the song
, though the acquaintance came with my reluctance.
While enjoying this song, I think of the ancestors and pioneers in R.O.C.
Sacrificing for the nation reflects a passion that sparkles me a lot
and drives me into tears.
However, the patriotism fades out gradually these days.
I don't know if the nation is going down forever or just temporarily.
To fight together!
To back up one another!
Never forget how we got here.

I still have some hope in Taiwan.
God Bless Taiwan.

成長

記得當我有機會在天燈上寫上願望時
是在高中時
我在上頭寫著
成長

這種願望可以...
小到就像小女生穿媽媽的高跟鞋、小男生拿鉛筆假裝抽菸
大到像瘋子一頭栽進廟裡拜媽祖問明牌、每天夢到醒來身邊躺著一輛法拉利

我想我是急著長大吧
可以掌握各方知識、熟捻各種技巧，擁有自己控制自己的權利
這種願望是小是大，是希望是渴望是慾望...我不知道
一個人是否真的長大...其實好難界定
小朋友任性不聽話，長大了，換成大人們的固執...一樣嘛...
那經歷這數年歲月，真的長大了嗎?

年齡似乎真的不能代表一切
雖然咋入軍中的我不能接受喊比我小好幾歲的人學長
但是時間久了，我倒也習慣
也慢慢體認到
一出社會就是如此
年齡不是一定標準，處事的成熟度才是
在馬祖這段軍旅生涯
我看到一個活生生的例子
僅僅是77、76年次的差距
我卻可以看見兩位截然不同的人：
一位已經是看過風風雨雨，待人處事波兒棒
；另一位卻還在那要誰跟誰好，誰惹他不爽就要他好看
看過體驗過才真的知道
表現成熟簡單到開口說一句話就讓人覺得很成熟
也困難到活了好多年好多年還是讓人覺得是娃娃

總之
這成長
是條走不完的路
在路途中
要不斷學習、吸取經驗、培養性格
不為別人
是為了自己

財富的祕密 - Adam T.Tackson

財富指的是你生活品質的程度，而非你賺錢的多寡

要體會富有的滋味，不需要靠著上億的錢財，而是去過你真正想過的生活

當兵期間，有機會看到這本被遺落在角落的書，一看到財富開頭的，我就拿起來看了，結果令我大為吃驚，內容十分具有教育意義，足以培養讀者正確的金錢觀念!其內容分為十項祕密：

1. 潛意識信念的力量
2. 燃燒慾望的力量
3. 確定目標的力量
4. 行動計畫表的力量
5. 特殊知識的力量
6. 持續的力量
7. 控制開銷的力量
8. 誠實的力量
9. 信心的力量
10. 寬厚的力量

第一當然就是改變自我的潛意識，重新認定自我的價值，它提到我們自我的生活狀況，其實反映我們的潛意識信念。而通常在面臨困難時，我們認為我們已經盡了全力，事實還沒盡了全力。

接下來，就是要靠自我去克制慾望，若是我們對擁有財富有著最高的慾望，理應可以犧牲任何事(健康、自尊、人際關係等)，若是尚未擁有財富，就是對財富未有足夠的慾望，而我們可透過a.回想過去缺錢所程受的痛苦、經驗。b.若再不做些改變，這種苦痛將會再三到來。c.想像擁有財富將會得到的快樂。

再者，確定自已的目標，為何有此目標? 何時將達到? 日期是幾年幾月幾日? 屆時將要有多少錢? 這些都將要是明確的數字、日期，而不是個大概。目標明確了，自己也才會督促自己實際行動!

再者，列出行動計畫表，擬出十個達成目標的可行方案，寫出來，再一一過濾出最佳一項。

再者，了解財富範疇內的知識如：理財、稅務、財務觀...。及事業範疇內的知識和客戶的需求。我們必需知道知識只是潛在的力量，只有在被計劃、聰明地實踐後才會變成力量。

再者，成功是許多次努力的累積，而成功與不成功不差在天賦，而是在「持續力」，在達到成功之前，不問自己錯了什麼，只問自己做對了什麼，這可以增強再試一次的勇氣!

再者，一定要創造持續不斷的收入，以保財富永存。記得拿出10%的收入做投資，為未來創造財富。

再者，做計劃或行動前，捫心自問，a.它合法嗎? b.它道德嗎? c.它會使我感到驕傲嗎? d.我會希望家人知道我的所作所為嗎? e.做了後，我會尊敬自己嗎?

再者，若達成目標是唯一的路，必須做的事，就必須去做!要有信心!

最後，試著把10%的收入捐獻，送給需要的人，因為我們的成功來自於其他人默默的幫助。把他養成一種習慣，慢慢會發現其實這行為也是幫助自己。

哇!能過想過的生活，應該就是世界上富有的人了。能有這種觀念，真的很棒! 就像爸說的，不想要的東西，再貼錢送我也不要，需要的東西，再多錢也要買下來! 事實就是如此阿，只是看到家裡一堆用不太到的東西，每天為了這些不必要的煩惱而煩惱，真覺得自己有夠蠢...

書籍參閱：財富的祕密 by Adam J.Jackson 探索出版

Words recall me the Days

It's a new discovery.
Whenever I read the old pages in my diary
,I can always recall the old days I had.
Though the words are simple ones and maybe
not described completely as the intact situation
,words can still take me back to the real world I had ever been.
What a surprise!
Words are like a point of start, taking the emotion back to the present time.
Then the emotion melts me mind, which goes with tears and smiles.
Sometimes I found myself fond of being in memories, good or bad ones.
Besides, I stop all my strength stepping forward just for more time
to enjoy the sudden peace of my precious memories.
With the beautiful memory, I can live more happily.
They shows how I smiled, how I cried, how I became a man.

Life of a student teacher

It's been almost a week.
I go to my school every day.
Though I work only 3 hours a day, the work is heavy.
We, the student teachers there, assorted and distributed books these days.
There're about 2000 students in the school.
That's how the big school do every year when the school is about to start.
Tough work sparkled the permanent existence of the student teachers.

Finally the substitution almost comes to an end.
The taste of being a teacher will be like how I feel as a substitute teacher in Seeds.
Teaching with saying a lot becomes a killer of my throat.
I don't know the reason that hurts my voice.
Is it that I am just not accustomed to lecturing or I am not suitable to lecturing.
Who knows! I will try to conquer the problem.