工作.........是生活..........

這學期開始後，上課對我來說像是上補習班，一個禮拜一天；而打工，像是我的生活，一個禮拜四天。真是特別的感覺，像是已經半出社會，每天要固定時間上班，偶爾才去學校上個課。
School的工作其實不難，我的工作算是儲備人員，開始學習帶小孩子，學習在他們之中建立權威。天天下4點到達，接下只剩2名小孩的安親班，然後，4點20分到2F吃點心，4點半，美小3，4年級來了，一群感覺餓很多天的小孩來了，每次忙得我一直把食物放到他們的碗裡，頭也一直低低的，剛吃完第一次馬上來吃第二次，等到我可以把頭抬起來時，孩子們不是吃完走人，就是快吃完了，留下地上一些些三不管地帶的渣渣、屑屑，太可惡了。要叫誰整理呢.......只能怪自己手腳不夠利落，沒辦法一邊忙一邊監督。然後，是可愛的美小1，2年級，人比較少，比較好控制，可以要求他們先說"May I have some snack,please!","May I have some drink,please!"，才給食物和飲料。還有時間提醒他們把桌子和地板整理乾淨，這兩班帶起來就比較有成就感。
吃完點心了，一些小孩子會留在2F等家長，這時我就要管理秩序，最喜歡他們要求我看錄影帶"May I watch video?" 當我很輕快地說"OK!"時，他們就會飛快地去拿一部影片，他們很開心，我也樂得很呢!看影片讓他們變得很安靜，我也就不必費力地管秩序。
Auntie Lynn是廚房的煮飯媽媽，據姊姊說她的廚藝精湛，看得出來，每次看著她做著好吃的便當，看到羨慕她的孩子。這群吃點心的小鬼們也是好幸福，真是不懂得惜福，還在那挑食。有時候，Auntie Lynn會把剩下的食物給我，她總是要我幫她吃，其實我才覺得是我渴望她留給我吃呢!呵呵....住在外面才會了解媽媽的家鄉味是多麼令人想念。
這份工作已經慢慢改變我的生活，我的觀念，我的交際，我的一切，從中學習並了解這個社會。我想，關於踏入社會的起點，我是選對地方了。^^

the Fact Changes

Since I read the editorial of the Brokeback Mountain,which mentioned some of the judges haven't even seen the movie that turned out to be awarded only three prizes,including Adapted screenplay,Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score),Achievement in directing but Best motion picture of the year won by Crash. The nations around the globe are thriving to get to the top place the Americans reached and it does show the promising way to the triumph they are on is closer. A period of years later,the developed countries get more,which meanwhile implies strong countries get more. Perhaps the mankind on this planet will be more wise and intelligent and there will be no counrty doing what they want just because they are big and powerful. The fact changes and the destiny of the mankind changes.

Meet Boston with You

Today may be a beautiful day for me. Since there is a beginning in Boston,there are people who make the story go on in Taiwan. Eva,Evonne,Kieran and I had a good time eating lunch in Little Star Restaurant and seeing horror movie today. Though I've broken up with Eva,but we conquered the embarrassment and had some talk luckily. I got to admit that the talk somehow brought me back to the good times when we're still together. Still miss you........
Boston is no longer a place name for me but a part of my treasurable memory. The life experience which includes the joy,unhappiness,suspicion and hilarity among we Taiwanese students has been in a significant place in my mind. I hope you do,too. I really had a good time throwing and catching the football with you,Kieran,and having lunch,movie and nice talk with you three today. What a wonderful day it was!! I am so happy and may God bless you.

228 烏漆媽黑工作日

今天雖是228，國定假日，但是我們協會的義工們可沒閒著，約莫中午時分，大家紛紛來到，開始今天的工作，圍起兔子的欄杆。感動的是，竟然有人遠從台北南下幫忙，這可以知道這世界上旣然會有對動物這麼痴愛的人，讓我倍感辛慰。
今天的我，漸漸認同協會所做的一切，也漸漸開心成為協會的一員。也許是這些台北愛心人士的感化，也也許是在2月初的那埸寵物世界的認養活動中，看到協會新印的DM上的一則故事：在一個海邊，有個人邊走著邊撿起沙灘上的海星往海裡丟。我看到了就上前詢問，他說，海水退潮了，這些海星來不及回去，等等太陽出現，他們會被晒死的，我正把他們一隻隻丟回大海。我笑著說，先生，你可知道這個海岸有多長，而這些海星又有多少，你真的以為你這樣子做，可以為這些海星的命運做何改變嗎？他繼續走著，撿起一枚海星，往大海丟了過去，說道：這對這枚海星來說可就不同了。
義工的角色就是不同於一般人，能多救一條生命，他們就會盡力去做，即使知道每年還是有一堆人在丟狗，有9成的狗無人認養而遭安樂死，但他們眼中總不見那如精衛填海的辛苦，他們的焦點總是放在每一隻狗的身上，看到這些人，也就像是看到社會的希望。期待，有一天，人類能和動物和平共處，別再以萬物之靈自居荼毒萬物了。也希望能有更多更多的人一起來幫忙丟海星，加速夢想實現。

NUTN E95B commencement trip.....乙班畢業旅行

This was my last time to get a chance for a commencement trip. And it ended today. What a pity but a beautiful memory! I am glad to conclude my university life this way. During this journey,we sang songs all the way on the bus to many destinations, Leofoo Village Zoo六褔村野生動物園, Taipei City, Chiufen九份, Ilan宜蘭, Hualien花蓮, Taitung台東, which showed our enthusiasm for our own class and the trip. The climax of the trip I think is the night we spent at Shangrila Recreation Farm because we were its only customers that night, so we enjoyed their totally service and activities hold by them. We were just like the rich who bought the whole place for one night gaudeamus-BBQ, poker games. the most popular game of the angel and the devil.

(Pic:圓圓,一隻羊,臺晏 and I were standing in front of an old old Japanese building.)

Then we had fun in Taitung. We had a gerat experience of the attractive hot spring there. And as there is a beginning, it comes to the end for sure. We waved the wonderful trip goodbye, which meant the goodbye to our friendship in university. So sad! I love the feeling of being a student. No economic pressure and hesitation of independence are the merits of being a student but also a dodge of the face of being grown-up. I know I will be out of the shelter of my family before long and I have to prepare for that beforehand.

Say bye to the past and say hi to the coming! Kev!

Signal......顯靈!!

一部我們嘔心瀝血的大作品阿!!



Signal顯靈終於在大家的催生下，即將完成。
　　今晚，大家將趕在19日早晨10點繳交作業，剪接、配樂、字幕分工合作，四部電腦一起工作，感受到工作室的忙碌，很忙很趕，卻玩得很開心。最後壓成DVD來播放讓明天的大家驚訝一下。想想，這部片"顯靈"早從期初9月底決定，圓圓、喵、菲菲、燒ET、酋長、阿容和我即在10月開始構想劇本，開會3次，擬出一份大綱，再由喵、菲菲、我把腳本完成。接著才是重頭戲，開拍，也許是沒拜拜，真是遇到太多波折了。加上第一次，拍得好累，只要一有空，就是拍片，也往往拍了2個小時的片，看一看只可用30秒，NG...NG...NG...累。12月12日開始集中實習，中間完全不能拍，直到12月底才又開始拍，這時還有1/3還沒拍，又要趕在1/18交作品，想想我們還真是有夠強的。DV帶買了10幾卷，又因為在今晚之前可以作業的電腦相處異地，為了校片還要燒出一片片的dvd，帶到學校交換。這部片子是我們大學生涯的記錄之一，是在當初不管老師的學分營養，而堅持要做出來的，畢竟大學四年，我們這群好友想給自己留個回憶。

Multi-CHOICE.....hard one

Where to go? Kevin? Why can the whole world become so wild that seems to be everything existing but beside my side? One more semester and I am a freshman in the society of chaos. To joining part of the circle of cram school, to go on and study or to grab the vacancy of the teacher. By choosing which one could I be on the right way toward success?
I know Daniel is waiting for me and of course it's an easy-get job. But the more easier I can get it, the more I feel unsure about what my aim is. My family needs money for sure, and that confuses me the most.
After the next week, I am going to do my first task the school committed to me. Loving it or not takes time to test.

week #16..It's final count down....

從美國打工回來一轉眼就過了3個月...天哪!!!日子過得很快，大四上快結束了～我人生中唯一一次的大四上，上大學後最忙的一學期，再兩個禮拜結束了，但沒完成那成堆的報告就不算結束，是真的，成堆的報告堆滿我的記事本，每天每天都有不同的討論、報告..........How I miss the work in USA. There are work and days off over there. But I know what I actually need for my future.
生活在這時代真是很不容易的一件事，每個人要挑戰的是自己，是否要繼續走下去的動力。再過沒幾年，就將成為社會新鮮人了，似乎還沒做好準備...keep on going, man!!

Finally,the end comes.....it's over!

該來的....還是來了，彼此都沒心吧，不然怎能說放就放？一千萬個理由比不上一句不喜歡，原來，短短5分鐘之隔的兩校，也可以有這般遠的距離...一切的回憶回到原點，Boston...我們還是忘記了吧，甚至把那份溫暖，那份感覺遺留在那，忘在熟悉的Square１ Mall，放在Harvard Square......，或是Downtown Crossing外的街上...通往Square１ Mall的Route１， 很長很長，陪著你走的雙腳卻不這麼覺得，牛奶好重好重，拿著它的手卻不那樣認為。宮廷式的中國餐廳似乎近在眼前，呼嚣而過的車聲亦十分刺耳，夢中出現的情景一再的上演，牽著你手的溫度卻慢慢降溫，抓不回...任何一絲絲快樂...
大學四年以來最忙的一學期，壓力最大的一年，原本以為一切都可以因為你而甘之如飴，一個月的不連絡早就慢慢澆熄我的心，為什麼我要堅持不打給你呢？這個月到底發生什麼事...讓你的未來不容許我，累死了...早知道，12月02日就不要遇到你，寧可從此了無音訊，也不願就此將這份感情停住。我該繼續追嗎？事情會有我想像的未來嗎？我到底要不要繼續追...會再一次的受傷嗎？

at a loss........

What a pity that after the busiest days of composing lesson plans comes the easiest days I longed for a lot and I have no idea what to do. I lost a goal to chase for even a world to dream of. That's really called pity. 6 days passed or maybe I can say about 1 month passed, I never get any of your sound. I am sure now I'm not good at handling this kind of affection. So sad.......... It is sure to be more strong when I am out of pressure.

Frustrated.........

今天還真是失望阿....................Boston的回憶是美好的～但是似乎不能延續到台灣................
連續兩次期待給的驚喜........算是驚喜吧!!算了～被放鴿子的感覺.......我並沒那麼重要的，對吧.....

秀秀走了.......

一隻我不是那麼熟悉，卻是姊姊花盡千辛萬苦，不知哭了多少次的狗狗.....今天繼續拍攝"顯靈"，在高玉食堂，姊姊打電話過來，說她正在來台南的路上，帶著秀秀，要到台南市，進行安樂死。一條生命將在幾小時後離開這世界，我的心情好複雜。犬瘟真的好可怕，我早就知道的事實，也聽說過的事實，直到死掉的狗狗是自己曾經看過，聽過，才真的覺得它真的可怕。姊姊一定能更親身地體驗犬瘟，看著醫生預料的症狀一一出現，希望就慢慢下降。發作時的樣子，讓無助的姊姊只能躲在棉被裡哭。可憐的秀秀，我知道妳很堅強的與病魔對抗了3個禮拜，最後妳還是很痛苦的放棄了，你變得醜醜的，好多皮屑，病厭厭的，四肢無力快癱瘓，神經受損，身體不聽使喚，血便，不過一切都沒關係，你是在愛妳的姊姊的懷抱中走完最後一程，現在很快樂地在天堂玩耍呢.........秀秀........請多關懷流浪動物.......拜託!!

IceGroup2005關子嶺Guanzihling

突然...想起了之前快樂的族遊.....關子嶺阿!!!嗚嗚嗚～真是棒!!
IceGroup2005關子嶺Guanzihling

Pressure!!!

The real pressure finally comes. It 's not everywhere but inside my body in every moment. I handle the teaching in elementary school, midterm paper, family, movie making and love affection. And I found it definately hard to handle well in one time. Pressure is going to devour my life when everything is gone with your carelessness. I don't know what my goal is and what I am chasing for.

Damn!! My mood was exposed to the god damn oil!!!!

大鬼...只能說，這一切是巧合或是你誤打誤撞...綠色是缺少愛是吧...............雖然裝做你只是剛好猜中，心裡卻是想著你太神了......那精油真測出人欠缺的元素、心理的狀況阿.........
聽著聽著，發現我還是不敢跟你說，我缺少發洩的對象，但還是悶著，就算你猜中，還是沒勇氣全盤攤出。感謝你的好心，紓解壓力的精油正是我的需要，壓力每個人都有，但是舒壓的對象卻不是每個人都有，有治心碎的精油嗎？唉呀................

I still want to be with U.

U're still the one I don't want to let go of. I can't jump out of the trap you set. My mind is full of u and my every thinking is stuck by u. I taste the feeling of being taken out the air of my breath and pressed of my throat. It is really a dilemma for me to make up my mind to go on with u or not. It is like a romance that we can only be together in each other's mind or even in my mind only. I think I've gone through the days of being lost in the world of having u not. How I hope it never happen,but that would make the trip to USA a nonexistent one.
Help me,almighty God! I am suffering from the dilemma that I don't want to lose any of them.

November 3rd = A Big Misery?

本來還自傲的以為，記得你的生日，笑話一場......對你還是不夠了解～是沒機會還是我懦弱...
上禮拜的要求失敗讓我跌入谷底，今已不管未來如何，相信我們的相處模式該是如此，為其改變自我的人是誰...我該低頭嗎？亦或是繼續逃避，其實每每孤單一人想起美國行，總是好大的落差，自己也不知道該如何是好，也好，這學期的忙讓我有理由逃避現實，今後呢？
11月2日生日快樂─除此之外真不知還有何祝福，快樂為何，快樂既是自給的，又何需要人祝福，這句祝福不外乎是要求人心的成長，能從任何事中得其優而樂，視其劣而勢吧！
人終究是群體生物，需要取人信任而生，優越他人而活，人卑劣嗎？非也，這是天性，只需要求自己不傷害他人即可，但這其實也是最難的部分。似乎人人總是不自覺得在傷害彼此，心臟不夠強的人最後就會走上絕路。
有時該做最壞的打算，才能對一切事物放開，也才能做到完善盡美，我也認了，幾乎認為自己無法放得開的，最後還是逼著自己想通，早在第一次傷痛中領悟到，該是自己的終究會是自己的，不該是自己的，就算強求也是得不到。放開才能與在乎的人有最完美的結局，放不開，只會帶來更大的傷害。以為自己是聖人嗎？還是對自己好一點吧！

Is it really a turn for Dad?

Dad was home today.Originally,I thought it would take a long time for dad's staying in the hospital.

一天之內感覺過了好久!

人生似乎就是一個紀錄著不斷成長的故事,一直遇到新的事物,新的人,會有新的感受,新的衝擊,隨之而來新的想法,新的做法,這就是成長.今天的長庚基督教會,真的讓我們家有了新的際遇,從姊進入School之後,認識伶姬,姊加入關懷流浪動物協會,開始義工生活,如今因為爸爸住院,一家人去唱聖歌.一家人總是有著一堆新的領域要去探索,不管是因為何種原因拉著我們去認識,也不管爸媽的年紀是否半百,我的年紀才20初,我相信家人們都得到成長了.
唱著聖歌的我好想哭阿,閉著嘴巴不敢再唱下去,怕哭出聲音.其實不是因為因主而感動,而是因為聽到爸爸唱歌,想到過去,沒想到這麼快,就要輪到我擔心爸爸的健康了...真是...難得的家族聚會,原本要慶祝爺爺的生日,變成在爸爸的病床邊渡過,一切的變化總不及人預料...
我知道這就是我的人生吧!上天似乎一直在丟難題給我,我知道這就是功課,必須把它完成,才知道它對自己有什麼幫助...

A turn for my family!

今天忽然接到惡耗,爸爸健康檢查發現SGOT和SGPT的指數過高,肝出現危機了.到網站上找,發現其實真的很嚴重,只是我也不知道該怎麼辦...20多年了,加油站的工作加上B肝帶原,竟然沒有辦法澆息想抽煙喝酒的慾望,唉!